


not falling together

by orphan_account



Series: hswc 2013 fills [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Manipulation, Mental Coercion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-01
Updated: 2013-09-01
Packaged: 2017-12-25 08:16:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/950808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>you cross it over and over again, sure, but you never quite reach it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	not falling together

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Asymptote](https://archiveofourown.org/works/985242) by [DaughterOfTheWest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaughterOfTheWest/pseuds/DaughterOfTheWest), [Skylark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylark/pseuds/Skylark). 



> for hswc2013 bonus round 6: fic remixes

  
Dirk is not alone.

It's been a while since he's had to fetch Roxy from the void; and so, had to brave the vast swirling darkness that is at once the very essence of emptiness and full of enough tentacle monsters to creep out even the most dedicated and desensitized of hentai enthusiasts.

But the horrorterrors, horrible and terrible though they may be, have never actually hurt him or Roxy. Dirk thinks they might actually be the reason he's never gotten lost in here even when he didn't have Roxy to guide him.

It's worth a shot.

"Uh. Hello?"

The darkness twists, and he's not sure if he should hope it's tentacles or space itself that's moving.

Hello.

Something, maybe something tangible, nudges him forward.

Hello, hello.

The kind of nothingness in front of him is different now, and in the middle of it there's a speck of light.

Goodbye prince.

 

* * *

 

GT: We would be perfect for each other if you were a dame you know.  
GT: Or if i were one i guess.  
GT: But either way can you just imagine?  
GT: We could be one of those husband-and-wife dynamic duos who travel the world together seeking thrill and adventure!  
GT: People would look at us and say now THERE is how you do romance!! With plenty of passion and excitement and daring escapades.  
GT: For our honeymoon wed head off to some exotic location and explore ancient tombs that have gone unexamined by mortal eyes for thousands of years. Ones that up until now no one has dared to approach!  
GT: But were not afraid in the slightest because we know always have each others backs no matter what.  
TT: We could do that.  
GT: Huh?  
TT: Have each others' backs and stuff.  
TT: And go places.  
TT: Do things together.  
GT: Well yes of course!  
GT: Youre my best friend and all so naturally a good deal of excitement is in store for when we finally meet up in-person.  
GT: And dont get me wrong dirk i consider our broship to be the grandest example of a platonic bond anyone could ever hope to have.  
GT: But thats not really the same as being in love is it?  
TT: No, I guess not.

 

* * *

 

The nighttime jungle sounds easily mask metal footsteps, and Jake is such a heavy sleeper that there's really no point in trying to be quiet. AR does it anyways. It's a game - if he can make it up to English's room without making a noise over -2.2 dB (his personal record), he wins.

TT: Will you stop fucking around?  
TT: No.  
TT: Stop or I pilot the damn thing myself.  
TT: Fine.

Brobot makes it to the side of Jake's bed without incident, and also without a new low score, because Dirk doesn't know how to have fun. AR reaches out one of its hands to wrap partially around Jake's neck.

TT: I told you. Everything's fine.  
TT: Numbers.  
TT: 70.8497225~, 96.2950972~, 99.4265689~, 60.4828960~.  
TT: I'll let you figure out what's what.  
TT: His life could be at stake.  
TT: As could your Brobot access.  
TT: Pulse, systolic, temp, diastolic, you fucking killjoy.  
TT: That's not normal.  
TT: So he has a cold or something. It's not going to kill him.  
TT: He probably has the immune system of like, some animal that has a really strong immune system.  
TT: You can't look at Jake and tell me he didn't eat a lot of dirt as a kid.  
TT: I'm not taking any chances.  
TT: Keep him inside tomorrow.  
TT: And enforce your paranoid health regimen. Got it.

 

* * *

 

Surely he's reading too much into it. Surely. Dirk's always been like this, and it's never meant anything. Has it? No. It's just his idea of a joke. And it's been going on for years - Dirk wouldn't wait that long to make a move on someone. Dirk sees something he wants and he goes for it.

( _Dirk plans._ )

And Jake himself has reciprocated such statements on numerous occasions. Just for fun, of course! Just some harmless friendly banter. He does the same with Roxy somtimes.

He's thought about kissing Roxy.

He's thought about kissing Dirk more.

Out of curiosity, mind you. Nothing wrong with entertaining a wild notion here and there. A hypothetical scenario - say he DID lean that way. Well, of course he'd like Dirk! He's rather attractive, objectively, and a great friend. And he's sure Dirk would say the same if it ever came up, right down to the part where it has no grounding in reality.

Has Dirk ever said something about a pretty girl? Probably. He and Roxy would make a great pair, and Jake's got an inkling she may be carrying a torch for him. He'll bring it up with Dirk later.

 

* * *

 

TT: Now is not the time to get pissed off at predestination.  
TT: Now is the time to shut the fuck up and follow orders, unless you want to break off into a doomed timeline and accomplish absolutely nothing other than vanishing from existence, since the main one will happen regardless.  
TT: You can't fight fate, Dirk.  
TT: And besides, he said some stuff I think you'll be interested in.

"What stuff?"

TT: Exactly.  
TT: Trust me, you'll be glad it went down this way.

"Whoa!" Roxy points over his shoulder, in front of them. "What's that glowly plant bud?"

Dirk doesn't answer, not even when they come out the other side, but he thinks Roxy stops caring as soon as she sees Jane. The drag on his board is immense now, but it's computerized and AR steadies it, guides him towards the bucket, over to Jake.

"Oh my god what the actual fuck is that!" Roxy all but shouts, and Dirk doesn't have to look to know what she's talking about. "Dirk is that you? Is that your head? Jane look! Dirk what-"

"No time for explanations. You have to hide." Jane looks like she's about to say something, but she glances at the head again and goes quiet. Neither of them move. " _Now_ ," he snaps, and Roxy drags Jane over to one of the low crumbling walls.

Dirk taps his shades. "Don't make this any more difficult than it needs to be. Ok?"

TT: Of course not.  
TT: It will be exactly as difficult as future me told you about.  
TT: He did tell you about it, right?  
TT: I was planning on it.  
TT: Just a precaution, y'know.

"He told me I didn't interfere. You still have a chance to not be an obnoxious jackass for once, and you had better fucking take it." Dirk throws the water on Jake and flashsteps over to the girls. The three of them crouch behind the wall, but Dirk knows he can't stop Roxy at least from peeking over it. It'll have to do.

TT: Oh cool, your face is twitching. Do you think that's gonna bother him?

Dirk grits his teeth and says nothing.

 

* * *

 

"I CAN take care of myself, you know!" Jake snaps. But Brobot does not have an AI advanced enough to process that statement or respond. It just stares back at its charge.

Jake huffs. This blasted tin can is so much more trouble than it's worth. He's considered sending it back to Dirk, or just deactivating it for good - but Dirk spent so much time and effort building it, and he probably has to be stringent with his robot materials, all alone in the future as he is. Jake would hate to just throw away a present like that. And Dirk said it would help him sharpen his combat skills, and if anyone would know how to do that it'd be Dirk. Jake can still hardly believe Dirk fights these things himself daily. If they're anything like Brobot (and Dirk says they're fairly close), then he must be one hell of a ninja sword master or something. Jake should be grateful for the opportunity to learn from him.

But when Brobot isn't kicking his ass all over the place, it's pulling stunts like this. Jake points to the giant crab monster. "I am PERFECTLY CAPABLE of dispatching these things myself! I did it all the time before you showed up!" Brobot might not be able to understand him, but yelling at it makes him feel better. He would be directing his anger at Dirk, but he's been offline since yesterday afternoon. Probably hard at work on that new project he mentioned. Brobot will have to do.

 

* * *

 

GT: DIRK!!  
GT: DIRK STRIDER DROP WHATEVER IT IS YOURE DOING AND ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW!!!!  
TT: Ok, I'm answering.  
TT: What's with the capslock?  
GT: YOUR FUCKING ROBOT. IS WHAT'S WITH THE CAPSLOCK!  
TT: This is really annoying to read.  
TT: Could you yell a little quieter?  
GT: FINE.  
GT: Fine.  
GT: But im still EXTRAORDINARILY PISSED OFF just so you know.  
GT: *glares angrily at so-called "friend"*  
TT: Yeah, I get it.  
TT: What did Brobot do?  
GT: He popped out of nowhere earlier and gave me such a trouncing my head is still ringing!  
GT: And it must be a million degrees out here and i have to walk all the way back home with a sore EVERYTHING.  
GT: This is not what i signed up for dirk!  
TT: Right.  
TT: It's better.  
GT: No its not!  
GT: I wanted a wrestling buddy not a ruthless assailant!  
GT: I cant even choose when i fight the damned thing. It doesnt matter what i might be in the middle of or how im feeling or anything like that. I always have to be ready to fend off a couple hundred pounds of merciless metal.  
TT: Aren't you already always on guard because of the monsters?  
GT: Well yes but...  
GT: I dont like it!  
GT: And usually i can scare them off or avoid them or something because they dont go looking for me and most of them arent FEARLESS KILLING MACHINES.  
GT: I dont need your robot on top of all that!  
TT: Jake.  
TT: Do you wanna be a kickass rough-and-tumble adventure dude or not?  
GT: Yes but i *sincerely doubt* this is the only way to accomplish that.  
TT: It's the quickest and most effective.  
TT: You know how I practice fighting robots too?  
TT: Sometimes I program them to try and get the drop on me like that.  
TT: It's an essential part of the training.  
GT: But youre good at fighting. Im not.  
TT: How do you think I got so good?  
GT: But dirk.  
GT: It really hurts. :(  
GT: Couldnt you tone it down a little? Just a wee bit?  
TT: I guess I could implement some sort of novice setting.  
TT: But I expect you to grow out of it soon.  
GT: I will!  
GT: Just have a little patience. Ill be up to snuff before you know it!  
TT: I'm holding you to that.

 

* * *

 

It starts with his shades.

The ones he wears when he's out adventuring with Jake are thankfully 100% robot-free, but they're still annoying. Jake can't tell where Dirk is looking, and he feels it'd be so much easier to read his face if his eyes weren't obscured.

It's true that over the years he's done well enough catching all the nuance in Dirk's communication when it was just words on a screen. But this doesn't feel _fair_. Dirk can see him, and pick up on things Jake didn't even realize he was doing, and he already always has the advantage even without that.

It's hardly a sportsmanlike solution, but honestly, when does Dirk ever bother with such niceties?

"Did you move my shades?" Dirk is asking, fresh from his shower. His hair is already horribly, perfectly styled in those ridiculous anime spikes. "Jake."

Jake snaps to attention. "Your shades? No, no. Why, do you need them?"

"Not right now. But I know I put them on the sink." Dirk's eyes narrow when he concentrates, and his eyebrows are a little too big for him, and this is so much better. It's cute. He's cute. His hair is flawless.

Jake just shrugs. "Dunno what to tell you bro," he says, getting up and walking over to Dirk. "But I'm sure it'd do your peepers some good to go naked for a while. Don't you think?" He pats Dirk on the shoulder.

Dirk turns to look at him and stares for a moment before speaking. "My eyes are fine. Guess I'll look for the shades later." He backs away from Jake and, with a flick of his wrist and a muttered rhyme, decaptchalogues a spare pair. He puts them on, and Jake thinks he can see one raised eyebrow just peeking over the top. He tries not to frown.

Dirk's hair gel is next.

 

* * *

 

Jake looks to his phone again - how many times he's done it since he flew the coop, he's lost track. Dirk is getting worried now, and it shows in the increasing frequency of Jake's Pesterchum tone sounding.

But if he really wants to know where Jake is, he could ask one of the girls to find out for him, right? Jake isn't ignoring _them_. But Jake knows he wouldn't - this isn't really about making sure he's safe, now is it.

Dirk wants to talk to him, and Dirk is going to keep pressing until he answers. And when (when, not if) Jake does, he'll talk Jake into coming back and forgetting there was ever a problem. Which ironically is part of the problem itself! He doesn't think it's the sort of irony Dirk would appreciate though.

Jake thinks about sending him a message and then not reading his reply. But that'd only encourage him, and Jake isn't sure if he could quash his curiosity enough to not respond. He's already looking through everything Dirk sends him anyways, even though he knows he probably shouldn't.

TT: Hey man.  
TT: I'm guessing if you had really lost your phone or something, you'd have alchemized a new one by now.  
TT: Or be using one of the twenty different computers I know you have on you.  
TT: Ain't no way you'd disappoint your grandma like that.  
TT: So.  
TT: You busy, or what?  
TT: I mean, it's cool if you want to go work on some stuff by yourself,  
TT: But you should at least let me know where you are.  
TT: It's dangerous going off alone like that.  
TT: What if something happens to you?  
TT: Like if you hit your head again, and get amnesia this time.  
TT: In case that's already happened and you're wondering who the hell this creeper is flooding your phone with his inane ramblings:  
TT: Hi, it's your boyfriend.  
TT: Who's kind of worried about you.  
TT: And would really appreciate it if you texted him back.  
TT: Even just once.  
TT: Ok?

Jake sets his phone back down and thinks for the millionth time about dumping him. Just type it in, hit send, and... avoid him for a few more days.

No, he owes Dirk more than that. They should at least have a proper talk. And he thinks he might be able to go through with it, if only Dirk wouldn't look too sad, or say too much, or start arguing about it.

Or want to not even be friends anymore. Or run Jake in circles until he changes his mind.

Jake turns his phone off and tries not to think about which would be worse.

 

* * *

 

He can do this. His hair looks great, his clothes are nice, he is good to go. What the fuck is he so nervous for? Is he really taking this that seriously? Of course he is. Anyone would be a little jittery in this exact situation. It's natural. He still feels like sort of a loser, though, so he stops thinking about it.

Dirk opens the webcam port on Pesterchum. His cursor hovers over the "Yes" button on the access confirmation popup.

GT: Ready?  
TT: Ready.  
GT: Go!!!!!

He holds his breath as he clicks. Dirk's own image resolves first, and he quickly relaxes his face. Then, his screen is filled with Jake.

Who is really, really cute.

"Ahoy, Strider!" Jake beams at him and waves cheerfully.

Dirk stares blankly for a second before responding, "Hey."

"Well this is just the bee's knees! You're the first person I've seen since my grandma died. It's great to see people again you know? Or I guess you wouldn't know since you live in the big city and all. But trust me, it's..." he pauses. Dirk isn't sure whether he's trying to look away or trying to keep his eyes on Jake. He's so excited. Dirk never knew being excited could also make someone look so fucking adorable.

"It's really nice," Jake says. Dirk just nods.

 

* * *

 

The world is bright sugar love and there is nothing to worry about anymore, nothing to be scared of, they're all friends and not fighting and happy and there are no problems and Dirk-

It doesn't work on Dirk. (A rhyme! Dirk loves rhymes. He raps all the time oh my gosh another one!!!!!!!!!!! You are on a _roll_.)

But it's ok, because Jake knows what's wrong. He can fix it! He will be the hero, and they will all love each other forever and never want to leave.

Jane and Roxy are leaving now, so he stops them. It can't happen without Dirk. The douche shades muscle sprite is ripped as heck and Jake can't say he doesn't find that at least a little appealing but he's not Dirk and never was Dirk and Dirk is their friend too. Dirk has to come with them.

So he explains what was wrong before, and why it doesn't matter now. It's all in the past! There are no more problems with anyone, isn't it wonderful?

Dirk doesn't think it's wonderful.

He has failed. He had a job to do as a friend and he couldn't do it and Dirk still isn't happy and-

But now Dirk doesn't like him anymore, right? Maybe they don't have to be married? That's fine. Perfect! Dirk just needs some time alone, and then he'll come back and have fun with everyone and everything will be okay.

 

* * *

 

TT: And who are you, exactly?  
UU: oh, don't worry aboUt that right now, love.  
UU: or ever, ideally. u_u  
UU: it's best for everyone involved if my identity remains a secret.  
UU: perhaps that will change in the fUtUre. bUt for now, yoU shoUld jUst focUs on yoUr new friends!  
UU: ta-ta!  


\-- uranianUmbra [UU] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] \--  


TT: Hold up.  
TT: Dammit.

Dirk tries pestering UU, but all he gets is a "chum not found" message. Weird. It would usually say they were offline, if that was the case. But there's not much to do until whoever that is contacts him again, so he saves the log and closes the window.

He clicks the "Add Chum" button and types in "golgothasTerror". Golgotha, the site of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Maybe this guy was some sort of historian, or religious scholar. UU did say he and Dirk would get along well. Dirk thinks he'd get along well with just about anyone at this point. Two people - three now, if UU keeps in touch like they said they would - is way too small of a friend pool.

He clicks OK, holding his breath.

\-- golgothasTerror [GT]  is offline! --

Fuck. It's something of a relief to not have to talk to the guy, but it's still pretty disappointing. Dirk can feel impatience starting to gnaw at him. Anticipation, too. But, like with UU, there's nothing he can do except wait. He knows from experience that the best thing to do here is just take his mind off of it, so he doesn't spend the day obsessing.

He checks Pesterchum five times in the next hour before he sees his chumroll's newest addition light up.

 

* * *

 

Jane leaves, thank goodness, and the room grows slowly quiet as Jake's sobbing eases. He's exhausted, like always after a good cry, but the calm and hopeful feeling that's usually there is absent. Probably because there's not really anything to be hopeful about.

"Yeah, not with that attitude."

Jake turns to brain ghost Dirk and huffs. "Okay, I get it! Can you stop bothering me now? Don't you think I have enough to deal with already?"

Not-Dirk shrugs. "I think what you think, bro."

"Well _I_ think I've had just about enough of your sass." Jake lays his head back on his knees. "Go away. I'm imagining you disappearing RIGHT NOW."

Unfortunately and unsurprisingly, brain ghost Dirk doesn't disappear. "Would real Dirk go away?" Jake is silent. "Where do you think he is right now, anyways?"

Jake sighs. "I dunno. But I wish he was here."

"You want him to rescue you."

For a moment, Jake doesn't speak, but then something in him hardens all at once. "Yes! I do. I don't think that's unreasonable."

"It's cowardly." Brain ghost Dirk is frowning now, the way Dirk does whenever Jake says he needs a break from adventuring, or he's tired and wants to turn in early.

It makes Jake bristle. "I don't care! I don't want to be the hero right now!" He sits up a little straighter. "Dirk's better at it anyways, he's probably already figured out what's happened and he's looking for me and Jane as we speak!!"

"You think?"

"Yeah!" And suddenly, everything seems a little less gloomy. Dirk is going to be here soon - or maybe Roxy? But probably Dirk. Real Dirk, too, not one of his goldarned splinters.

His most recent goldarned splinter asks, "But how's he gonna find you?"

Jake just stares him down. "You're his soul splinter mind phantom can't you call him with telepathy or something?"

"That might be a power I have," brain ghost Dirk responds slowly.

"A-ha!" Jake shakes a finger at him and grins. "So it _is_."

Brain ghost dirk has a peculiar look on his face, but it vanishes before Jake can puzzle it out. "Yeah. It is."

Three flight-hours away from the session lies the Furthest Ring, hiding countless eldritch beings and one lone Prince, who feels something nudge him forward. Maybe something tangible.


End file.
